Weddings. . .......

MARRIAGES AND LEARNINGS
How do you define a marriage… In my basic understanding it is a formal coming together of two bodies , two souls , two individuals , two identities. Its about merging of all the above into one.. Two becomes one and two decide to tread a “singular” path. Two decide to give space to each “one” while merging the two to usher in joys of being “one”.
Two , sometimes of diverse cultures and backgrounds, decide a common future and the Two contribute to the evolution of world in their own way by procreating. They prefer to give their own identity to world and history through their progeny. Though due to the nuances of genetics where random fusion of gametes takes place ; There are often vastly different creations. All the above is divine and hence a marriage has divine interventions and is quite sacred to the teeming millions around.
I have had my experiences of few marriages which linger in my memory and few which I would have loved to attend if I would have been born earlier!
My parents got married on 1st march 1968. A 26 year old fair , handsome, professor of physics taking an unknown girl of 18 as his life partner. A virtual geek be it physics or literature getting bestowed with a girl who could ride horses , play hockey and swim at competitive levels into creating a life together.
I realized; Marriage merges different ingredients to make a delicious ONE dish! Delicious this has been.. alhumdulillah- for they have stayed happily together for 40 years in thick and thin. Have heard a lot about the foggy mornings that winter and how my dear grandpa organized the wedding of his only son. I learn- Organisational skills come to fore in organizing a marriage ceremony and each gets his chance in life!! I shall get mine , too-;))
Have heard a lot also of a pre independence wedding of asthas grandparents in early thirties. A prince getting another princess, blossoming of love and then carrying on with the same intensity of desire, passion and mutual love right into the next century is a romantic story of the last century. The same becomes more powerful with the landscape of ever evolving and changing times- decades tof pre independence, post independence chaos, losing royalty privileges and coming to terms to life as a commoner. Would love to know what happened in the sacred ceremony which led to this sustained love and acceptance of each other. I believe- Marriage is love in abundance and readiness to flow together in all tides – high and low!
The first marriage of significance in my life was in 1985 . My father’s cousin got married and it was a great occasion for- a ready to barge into teens-me. My brothers and mine sacred thread vedic ceremony was also conducted that time making us “twice born” from that day. All these made the event even more memorable. Tons of photo, happy, sulking, dancing, our generation’s first brush with alcohol and tobacco and then asking for more in life mark that marriage. I learnt- Marriage ceremonies give us a chance to indulge and experience new highs and lows.

The next one was the marriage of our only beloved sister in 1993. Still an undergraduate student, I watched this one take place over months with financial and executional plans with elder bro playing his role to the hilt. I watched in awe and tried to execute to my limited capabilities as I watched the drama unfold . It was execution par excellence- a wonderful team effort. All timed perfectly. Have fond memories of friend rana singh, resorting to opening of coke bottles with mouth/ teeth when openers failed, my friend sumit taking me away for a smoke during the sentimental vidai ceremony ! Luv you guys…
While the focus remained on the ever genteel jijajee and my dahling sis and of course on my dearest bro as always.. I tried to understand the intricacies , pros , cons and nuances of getting into a responsible married life. It has been a wonderful ride for both brothers to have found a friend and well wisher in Jijashree. Merci beaucoup Monsieur! I learnt Marriage provides a platform to build life long friendships and relationships.
Scene moves to Delhi 1997.. My first year into professional career, big dreams and ambitions and a raring fire to make a difference to the society.. Here I was .. dancing away to glory as I had never done before- celebrating the big day of my only brother- my friend sometimes and my idol always! A banker joined the family and ushered in lots of fun times for us.
I can still remember the wide and rare smile on my dad’s when all finished well and to his liking . I hadn’t seen that one post my sisters wedding and not later during mine. Finally, he expressed it! His love for his special one. All of us love this love and have enjoyed it always in our family banters!
I learnt Marriage ceremonies bring out many a disguised and hidden emotions!
And now I fall in the trap too. Dec 2000!! They say before marriage you are incomplete and post that you are finished! While gloating over others crossing the line was ok , I finally took my big leap too. A literature enthusiast with love for Shakespeare and bachhan in same measure, a dreamer, a lover of peace and abundance walks the aisle with a realist, a mathematician one who loves chaos and scarcity !
I learnt Marriage brings in diverse souls and they make a lovely lock and key!
Am in a flight to attend my brother in law Harsh’s and his fiancé vidishas wedding. Have decided to have max fun! “Har pal yahaan – jee bhar ke jiyo, phir yeh samaa-kal ho na ho” is my theme for next 7 days. This would be the wedding of this decade.
Next decade I look forward to my niece, shreya’s wedding which would be another memorable occasion.. Young , I shall remain then, in words and spirits atleast.
Hope both the above make me learn few more things about the concept , the institution that is marriage!
PS- I have missed out on weddings of plethora of friends where I had planned to be there for sure - These are pals from mikes, DPS, Hindu and IRMA. I owe you an apology dears!!